Thursday, July 5, 2018

Day 2 and I haven’t given up yet.

I find it suprising that I am still trying to blog. I did say that I was a pessimist at the start although optimistic that something can come for my efforts. I have started the day on an optimistic note which is kind of scary at times.  Sometimes I feel that when I am optimistic the shoes will drop; something worse than I could never imagine would happen.   Now the more I think about it, the more I realize that part of being kind and happy is to be kind to myself. I’ve had issues with this in the past.  I don’t think I’m alone in this,although other religions,  like Buddhism, do not have the concept of self loathing.  How can we be happy when we are unkind to ourselves?   Today I made a step in trying to be more self-aware as well as thoughtful as to how I treat myself. Even though I could’ve hit the snooze button for another 30 or 40 minutes, I did get up today to exercise which usually makes me feel better.  I stopped to pet my dog Dexter who is 15 years old and a big part of my life.  Although I have not joked around as much today, I do feel OK.   I have done the simple things such as reaching out to family and friends just to say hi which does help me feel happier.   Their friendship and kindness helps pick me up when I feel blah.  Over the next few weeks in the blog I’m going to concentrate on that idea of how I can be more kind to myself.  So this is day two, trying to be more mindful of what it is to be kind, especially to me.

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