Friday, August 31, 2018

Day 59   Happiness starts at me

Long time coming but it is easy for me to forget the main items in life.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that happiness is a choice which I choose and continue throughout each moment.  To choose this, I find it hard at times: physically when I am tired, emotionally when spent and mentally when drained.   It is my choice to smile or not. It is my choice to let go or not.  It is my choice to believe or not.  It is my choice to trust or not.  After working in death and dying over 15 years, I realize that these things are fleeting and are just stuff that can get in the way of life.   As I am human, I have troubles at times being able to be present to this knowledge.  Today, I am trying to remember.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Day 58  fitting in

Sometimes, I feel that it is hard to fit in.  Sometimes, I feel that it is hard to fit into myself as well as with others.  Today, is such a day.  The thought for today is the more kindness which I can show to myself and others, the more I can fit in.  Acceptance is part of kindness and happiness.  I believe a big part.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Day 57 USA

I have been thinking of self acceptance and i researching more on this subject.  The idea of giving up the ego is more eastern in which we are.  I think of Pooh when I think of this.  Seeing oneself as neither good nor bad is liberation to me.  Today to be of Pooh, eating honey, maybe getting stuck in a tree sounds good to me.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Day 56 Acceptance

How to accept and give up or give in has been a struggle of mine for a while.  Maybe all my life except for a person very close to me, my father who is long gone.  Today, I would like to be able to be free of ideas that must be "right", to be free of ideas which hurt my ego and to be free of feelings which protect me from further injuries whether real or imagined.   I am trying to understand the idea of letting go in order to be kinder to myself.  This will take time for which patience is a necessity and a joy.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Day 55  Hormones do suck at times

I have been through puberty twice in my life: during my teens and now.  I have tried to practice use of mindfulness and at times still wish to cry.  That being said, I am very lucky to have what I have in life and to be alive.  My plan is to continue to work through these feelings and attempt to become stronger at the end of it.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Day 54  It's okkkkkkk.........

Well after going through years of change, growth and times of sorrow and joy, I have decided, well what I wrote above.  When I am able to take a step back, I can see a painting full of color and different views of life.  I understand where others may come from.  At those times, I feel kinder and happier.  The only thing is, sometimes people do not have the same views.  That is normal.  Today it's ok to be kind to myself and let go of expectations.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Day 53  What do I want

There are a lot of types of kindness; kindness to myself, kindness to family/friends, kindness to strangers as there are levels of intimacy.  The Dalai Lama and other spiritual teachers treat others and themselves with the same amount of kindness.  Letting go of the ego does help with this.  It is difficult to let go totally.  This is with what I now struggle.  How do I speak up for what I need to be happy and still let go of the idea that this is how it needs to be.  I will continue to think on this in the coming weeks.

Friday, August 24, 2018

Dave 52 sleep

My Idea of kindness sometimes it’s just to rest and get a little bit of R&R.  Today this is what I am planning to do.  Cop out, yes; but good idea definitely.

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Day 51   Oh well....

There a few things in life that we cannot change, birth, death, paying taxes and the change especially if you are a woman.  That being sucks.  Well how to deal with the upheaval of ups and downs is the question.  Should I scream my head off when someone who may not know it treats me without respect or else hurtfully (if this is a word)?  Probably not.  The other person may feel vindicated in what he or she thinks or feels, same as I feel.   Should I run? Maybe if I am running toward something.  Possibly the idea and practice of thinking about what is going on may help me feel better.  This, I believe is practicing kindness, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  The art of communication is a difficult practice for which I am still learning. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Day 50  Do one thing a day that scares you   (maybe Eleanor Roosevelt or Albert Ellis or someone else)

So I have done things in my life of which I am not the proudest.   I have acted in ways also not giving the best impression ever.   I survived and am learning from these possible mistakes.  I think that the kindness we show on others can be turned on ourselves.  That being said sometimes the kindness we show to ourselves can best be served by showing that same kindness and generosity to others.  Practicing this is another story all together.  So as why mention above?  Again I digress.  I think in the challenging of ourselves we can show kindness and happiness to others.  Ellis writes in a book how he made it a point to talk to 100 attractive women in a summer.  He did not get a date, but met some people and got over his fear of being shy when around women.  Who knows?  He may also have made someone's day just by being social. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Day 49   Give me a break

I have been thinking of thinking which may be dangerous in some situations.  I have thought that the primary idea of kindness and consequently happiness may be in giving myself a break.  The kinder I am to myself, the kinder I am to others.  I have tried practicing giving myself a break and decreasing chicken little mentality.   I think I have been a little easier to deal with today as I try to practice this.  Tomorrow, who knows?

Monday, August 20, 2018

Day 48   Kindness to oneself

I have been thinking a lot today about how to be kind to oneself.  That is how to stop being angry about the past or fretful about the future.   I have been thinking of how to let go.  Some of letting go is to understand where another person acts or reacts to a certain situation.  Acceptance of circumstances in the realization that we try to do what we think is best for ourselves or others.   Letting go in acceptance of what is and knowledge that my shoulds, woulds, and must bes are different for everyone. 

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Day 47  Sometimes thinking is overrated

I have thought about meaning of kindness, happiness and life, more so over the past few days.   I am becoming more aware of my thoughts, the more I try to be aware of them.  We become what we think.   I thought this when I was younger and now believe it strongly.  It is almost like we are the playwrights putting on the production of our play or in other words our life. 

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Day 46  A little more discussion and thought

I have been reading more on how our thoughts govern our feelings.   I guess if we thought about little puppies and candy canes then we all would feel happy.  Unless of course, one is allergic to puppies and candy canes.  It is all in how to look at things.  I am a little excited to learn and practice more as happiness is a state of mind. 

Friday, August 17, 2018

Day 45  Letting go..

I think therefore I am.  I feel therefore I suck.  Well at times, I can feel down, sad, etc... 
There are times in which the thinking can influence the feeling, especially when it is hard to let go.   I have heard it said that the thinking influences the feeling.  I am trying this out.  As it can be difficult to control one's thoughts all the time, I am setting a goal at 50% to see what happens. 

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Day 44  Thoughts

Mindfulness or being present in the moment has been on my mind recently.  Thoughts can lead us down one path or another, making a change which can be life changing in more ways than one.  Happiness can depend on how I look at a situation either with rose colored glasses or with no blinders on.  Sometimes it is best to just let things be. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Day 43  How to keep going?

At times, it feels easier to stop.  Starting over in a different place, as a different person sounds pretty appeasing right now.  I could be a shopkeeper in Italy without a moments notice of hesitation.  Only, I would miss those people who have brightened my life.  Today, kindness in self care revolved around being present with my thoughts as I try to change these with acceptance.  I wish myself good luck, as well as to those around me. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Day 42  Self Kindness

Today, I have been thinking more of self kindness including being able to accept what is.  Accepting all of the good/bad and in between including the illusion of good/bad and in between.   I talked today to someone about being mindful in actions.  Again, I have to remind myself of this as it is the kindness thing I have done for myself today; turning off the thoughts and self talk has helped to refocus.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Day 41  Karma reboot

I talked to someone today who had a really, really rough life.  She had been through numerous abusive situations and continues to be haunted by the past.  I was wondering today what would it be like to be again reincarnated into the same situation or worse again.  I imagine it would be hell like.
I believe like a lot of spiritual teachers that a major part of kindness is to be kind to yourself.  Again, part of the kindness is to be present in the moment instead of living in the past, in some cases past horrors, and in the future, in some cases preparing for future horrors. 

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Day 40  Hope

Today I spent time watching the news, which is never a good idea.  I saw how there were a handful of white nationalists in Washington and a whole lot of anti protestors.  The rally appeared to be peaceful with no throwing of objects or violence seen.  I remember watching my home town of Charlottesville last year erupt into chaos.  I would say that there was chaos on both sides, but one of my best friends had told me how she saw a white nationalist hit a protester in the head with a backpack while she was walking down the street.  I remember seeing the car hit and kill a young woman who was an anti-protestor.   I am hopeful today as I see less anger and see more kindness as the march of (possibly) the right has turned into less of a march and more of a group outing. 

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Day 39  What if?

Today is a day of what ifs.  I think that sometimes the what ifs does get in the way of happiness and knowing who we are.  The fantasy involved in what ifs leads my mind to a place where I do not believe happiness can grow.  Today is one of those days.  I have thought of what if a lot today with relationships, choices and life experiences.  I think of one change in my life and how my son would not be living in the US.  I would not be working where I am today.  I would not have met my spouse and best friend.  I can go on.  At times, I have thought that the universe may have brought me to a certain place.  Then again, I may be fooling myself.  Today, I am trying to focus on the kindness that trusting and being with this belief can bring both to myself and others in my life. 

Friday, August 10, 2018

Day 38  Karma....

I have heard today about a friend who will be induced in labor because she has health issues. Her baby will be early.  She has asked for help via prayers.  I responded with thoughts, prayers and good karma.  I wish Karma was that simple.  If someone needed the good you have built up over the past year, years or eternity, why not give it to them.   I don't know when I will need it again.  I may never.  It just makes sense.  I wish and hope and pray for God's intervention for her baby and my friend that all is safe, beautiful and goes like clockwork as they induce my friend.   If Karma can be given, I give it all for her.  I will continue to try to do good deeds in order to bank more if needed.  Keeps me on track and honest. 

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Day 37  Oh Well...

Well is a great word.  It can denote a place from which we can get water.  It can mean a feeling either mentally, physically or emotionally, as in I am well,  It can also serve as a pause as in Well, I don't mean to be critical, but.....   Today, is the oh well.  Kindness may be as simple as putting on the big girl pants and getting the job done to help others.  It can be in withdrawing in order to regroup.  Anyway, I think, at times, the best kindness is being able to pause.  I am hitting the reset button. Sometimes, again, it is hard.    A favorite quote has been every morning we wake up and the slate is wiped clean.  I have been erasing a lot off the blackboard.  Today, I am cleaning the erasers to start again. 

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Day 36. Silence

Sometimes when things get rough, silence has been a good friend.  That and tears.  A sympathetic soul also helps

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Day 35   Letting go again and again

Sometimes I believe that we go through lifetimes again and again.  I learn and then relearn again in a different way.    This is by choice not by necessity.   Today, I was thinking that bending and giving like a river is a better way to live.  I spent a day in empathetic communication.  I was mulling over driving home the more giving I am the more empathy I feel.  Today, possibly is a day of becoming more giving to myself.  Letting go of the past is the first step in kindness and taking the moment to breathe in may be the second. 

Monday, August 6, 2018

Day 34  One step forward and two steps back

Today, I spent time looking over my reaction to people, statements and items.  At times when I think I have it altogether, I know down deep inside that I do not.   I have been thinking more today on how over the past 40 years or more, I have been trying to figure things out.  Recently, I think that I may be getting a little closer.  As I do so, I have fallen a few steps behind.  Sometimes, the Zen approach may be the kindest.   Just to be.  As Pooh would note, sometimes it's all about the honey; nothing else.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Day 33  Half mine...Half yours

I find it hard at times to be able to be able to not take things personally.  I think that it's an art to do so.  During times when I feel run down or sick, I feel that running up a mountainside would be easier.  I like what the Dalai Lama has said about who to blame for an issue or problem.  It takes two or more to cause it.  From misunderstandings to ego to fear, it can be hard to get out of the head.  Today is one of those days.  I think that it is in the awareness of an issue, it can be solved and end in growth for those involved, if they so wish.  Today, I wish it so. 

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Day 32.      Sometimes the universe just kicks us in the ....

Today has been an uneventful day spending time with my family. That’s the best type of kindness that I know. I’ve said that before and I’ll say it again.   Today though I have had the opportunity to almost run into two people with whom I have had recent issues.  In my world, I believe that their actions have been not the nicest.  I remember In both instances of being either spoken sharply to or yelled at.   No I am not the first person they’ve done that too.  I also believe that I will not be the last.   In one day seeing these two people is more than a coincidence I believe. I will take this opportunity to try to see about letting go and get to a point of my life where these things do not matter anymore.  “ Things happen. get over it” a wise person once told me.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Day 31

Happiness today is definitely a warm fat puppy

I do believe a pet can enhance a life and bring joy.  I was discussing with my son today how a pet can add years to a life.  My dog has been an ever constant sail to help me weather any storm.  After years of care, it is nice to see him and smile knowing that all he wants out of life is a treat

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Day 30  ?

Today it appears that it is important to me to be more thoughtful and how I perceive myself as well as others. When I don’t feel well especially this becomes a chore. I think that is what is referred to as Misery loves company.   The one kind thing that I have done for myself today has been being present with my family watching a TV show.   Sometime sharing something with the ones we love can really brighten up the day.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Day 29   How to pull up the big girl pants

That is one of the most difficult questions that I ask myself.  At times, I find it easy to wallow in my own misery especially when it's that super special time of the month.  Again I am going through changes that our parents never talk about and am finding it exceedingly harder to find kindness in myself.  The fallback for kindness has been picking up my love able curmudgeon of an old dog and carry him around the house.  Today, he didn't seem as excited for this option, so I watched a favorite feel good movie.  I like it for the relationship between the two characters who have large age differences.  Even though they are at two different points in their lives, it is nice to see a story about respect, friendship and support outside of a romantic relationship.  I felt better as both characters show kindness to each other.  I hope that this shows that maybe kindness can be contagious.   The more I see, the easier it is to show kindness to myself and others.

Being smart

Being smart can be hard as the choices we make affect our happiness and eventually mold us.  We can choose to be happy by focusing on peopl...