Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Day 120

life can be scary at times especially on Halloween.  Sometimes the idea of a thing can be more upsetting than the actually thing itself.  Being able to see this is precious.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Day 119 Water


I had an idea this morning of being like water moving around a rock.  I was in a meeting and my water boiled.  I did not expect this, but it happened.  I got to thinking that I couldn't take it anymore.  I could but didn't want to hear what was being said.  Whether right or wrong, I became sad as my next steps may change my life.  Either way the next steps always change my life.   It's always good to remember this.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Day 118 Priorities



What we think we become.   I think this; I have heard from masters of religious philosophies over the years.   I have been thinking of some folk, I know, who place money in front of people.  For right or wrong, I don't know if emphasis on money always works out.  By paying less for help or trying to not paying for work done, I believe they make it harder on themselves in the end.  The loyal and honest folk who will help build and keep their business humming leave eventually.  They can then be left with a mess.  I think there is a saying in the Bible in which Jesus talks about the difficulty of a rich man to ent the kingdom of heaven.  It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle then a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Maybe this has to do with priorities.  Money cannot buy happiness.  Don't get me wrong abject poverty does not appear fun as well.  Maybe it is in the spreading of wealth and helping when able including valuing others that we grow and learn. 

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Day 117 Confusion



I have been thinking about recent events in our society.  These can cause confusion, strong emotions, disbelief and other issues.  I have been feeling this at times.  I remain hopeful that this can change.  It takes one person , then another, then another to say ok let's stop the bickering and go in a different direction.  I still think of Senator McCain and the eulogy presented by President Obama.  He spoke of differences but respect and further understanding when two people can sit down and talk instead of finger pointing and blaming.  My wish is that we (including myself) all be able to stop, think and then speak, with the song Kumbayah played in the background. 

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Day 116 Joy


The Hallmark movie holiday countdown started yesterday.   Of course, I watch it as I am a sucker for the sentimental  I have been watching today to get in the holiday spirit.  I also am able to see people open up, connect and eventually, because it is Hallmark, find happiness in the spirit of love and joy. I could start by making sarcastic remarks about how lame it is and predictable, but I don't.   I think I enjoy keeping hope alive in the holidays and in life.  We all may be able to change a little, be less closed to others and allow the magic of the season happen.  Joy to the world.... even if it is a little early.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Day 115 Eyesight


Sometimes, I wonder why our eyesight can be so bad.  I am talking about being able to look at situations from another person's perspective.  I think that when we are unable to let go of how we fiercely view our perspective as right and another's as wrong that we both lose.  I was speaking to a friend and discussed with her how she always try to see how another person may feel if she was in their shoes.  I think this as admirable although as we get older, we realize that other people do not hold the same values we do.  Trying to keep people around me who are kind and thoughtful helps with my happiness.  I hope they can say the same thing. 

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Day 114 Growth


The purpose of life is to grow or to have fun or maybe both.  I have been trying to point the finger inwards but at times it is hard.  It is hard to be open to criticism.  It is hard to be open to negative vibes or having people think they know you personally.  I think we all may have that idea that we know the intimate thoughts and feelings of another.  As I get older, I doubt that we do.  We can only imagine.  As we attempt to connect to others, we first connect to ourselves.  Maybe that is the area in which we can grow.  Maybe the idea of life is to watch movies and tell jokes.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Day 113 Compromise

 Today I was talking to someone about evolution and wear the basic premise of not killing another human being came from. He had the idea that when we were cavemen in had to hunt and gather supplies to stay alive, it was in the best interest of everyone to work together. He also had the idea that those who Wanted something from another person and kill them in their sleep, would be either ostracized or kill themselves as nobody wanted to be around that person. I think that he is right. Maybe it is in our evolution  To work  together for a common good.  Together we are stronger than we are alone.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Day 112 Respect


I don't know how to let go of respect.  Not respect of myself but of the idea that others should respect me for my education, for my history of work etc.   Today letting go of this idea makes me just a little bit happier.  I do not have to spend the rest of my life around certain people if I choose not to do so.  I can choose who is part of my family and friends and who is not.   To choose wisely is important to our happiness.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Day 111 Browns


Yesterday, I watched as the Browns lost in overtime again to a field goal.  They try, which is why I think a lot of us who root for the downtrodden in life.  It is one thing to get knocked down time and time again.  There is another when someone gets down and refuses to get back up.  There is a difference in giving another power over ourselves by lying on the ground and another taking that power back.  As we lay on the ground, others are free to walk over us which hurts us both.  There is a karmic idea of hurting others by letting them hurt us.  Then there is another karmic idea in giving up on ourselves is a way in which we can let ourselves and others down.  So, I say GO BROWNS!!

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Day 110 History


Over the weekend, I went with friends and family to the Smithsonian's African American Museum.  It was jaw dropping at times.  It was difficult to face discrimination, hatred, violence and evil based on some arrogant idea that one group of people are better than another.  I have heard from my family discriminatory and hateful words.  I have also fought prejudice thoughts all my life.  Arrogance does not lead to happiness but the opposite, I believe.   One day may we all realize the strength within us comes from connection and knowing that we are more alike than different. 

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Day 109. Tundra

Being with friends/family can always be a kind adventure for all.  Today we are on a trip to DC.  Parking can also be an adventure.  We parked in a secluded part of the metro station, aka the Tundra.  Well this could be good, bad or indifferent.  If the car gets scratched or if it is dark and a little scary going back to the car, then the situation could go either way.  Either way the journey with those we love makes everything a little brighter

Friday, October 19, 2018

Day 108 Negative 3


Today, it is a negative 3 day on the infinity scale.  My goal is to be in ok land which I still am according to the scale.  I know that  will not always feel 100%.  I am human and old.  Like my dog, who I took to the vet today, I am a curmudgeon at times, aka ornery.  Smiling helps me get back to positive 2 when I think about it.  Maybe this is something to concentrate on today.  Maybe acceptance and being ok with a negative 3 may be the way to stay in ok land which is like Candyland or Chutes and Ladders depending again on how you look at it.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Day 107  resilience


I have been experiencing and talking to more people who are resilient.  They have been through horrible autrocities in their lives.  They continue to smile and focus on the good in and around them.  They do not allow anyone to take their peace or happiness.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Day 106 Math


I remember basic Algebra.  A + B= C .   When I think about the B part,  I would like to leave it out.  A in this equation would mean something that happens, B would mean my feelings/thoughts/reactions to it and C would mean the outcome.  I don't doubt that at times I would have liked to have toned down the B part.  I have ideals which when crossed, I can get a little upset.  As I am aging, I appreciate more the tone of others, realists, who have a good way of looking at how things are.  My spouse is one and has helped to guide me in dark times.  One word of advice: find someone who makes you better.  Happiness will follow.  This is what I believe. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Day 105 Intelligence is overrated



Today, I was talking to a friend about career changes including being a postal worker or librarian.  She kiddingly said "I can see you yelling at someone asking a stupid question when you were deep in reading."   I can't see that.  I have been around very intelligent people who have difficulty being understood as they go from subject to subject and assume that people understand.  I have had this issue not saying that I am very intelligent.  Then I have been around people who are intelligent in their kindness and trust of others.  They are happy not trying to solve the world's problems but to help in ways they can and enjoy the moment they are in.  Intelligence without kindness can be cruel and can cause divisions between people.  Rather to be intelligent or kind?  I choose the later.  Now my work begins.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Day 104 Reincarnation


Today, I was listening to the NPR and heard some very disturbing news regarding the upcoming elections.  It seemed that in Georgia, there is an issue of voter registration and possible disenfranchisement of over 70% of black Americans.  There is a move to prevent voting of people who may have a comma in the wrong place or a period, more or less.  I am lucky to be born the color I am.  Maybe a different sex would have been nice.  I was thinking, what if I was reincarnated into a different body, color, educational status, socio-economic status...?  Maybe, just maybe goals such as kindness and happiness may be replaced by just surviving.   

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Day 103 Create


I was asked what I would like to do for a living.  I thought writing would be the perfect job.  Creating something from the depths of my soul sounds exciting and a way to get closer to nirvana or heaven.  Living forever in fame or at least in print sounds like a way to become immortal.  Happiness would be certain.  I don't know now.  I remember going to a local grocery store today.  There is a bagger/cashier who is always care free, helpful, excited and present at her work.  I told my family that I liked going to the store when she was there.  Happiness and memory shared.  These two may last a lifetime and more.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Day 102 Practice


I was thinking today on how we as humans practice a lot of different things.  We practice sports, lessens, reading as children, speaking different languages, cooking, etc.  I remember watching my son when he was six years old huddle together in a small field with about eight other young children learning how to play soccer.  I thought practice was futile as the kids moved together in a perfect circle kicking the ball in no direction but moving as a whole with the ball.  It was cute though.  I wonder how often we practice happiness.  I don't practice smiling as much as I used to practice.  Sometimes, I forget.  Other times, my mood does not allow for it.  Perhaps a practice in smiling is the next step in evolution of kindness to myself and others.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Day 101 Getting by and bye


There are times that I believe kindness and happiness is listening to that little voice even though it may be a little nagging and a little quiet.  Is this the voice of God?  Maybe.  It is a way I can keep myself in check.  I have learned over time to listen to this voice in helping others.  I have been listening more with other issues which affect me personally.   Although I think that I need to consider what the voice says, the consistency and resonance of the voice has led me to make decisions which have enriched my life.   The more I listen, the more I am actively practicing kindness to me and my life.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Day 100 Road less traveled?


I have wondered what the road less traveled may look like.  I have been by the more traveled road, full of bumps, pot holes and at times sink holes.    These are the times when I jump off into the stream or nearby river to help guide me to the place I need to go, flowing with a cooler and floating device beside and under me.   Giving up on trying to swim or negotiate between difficult or not so difficult situations makes me happier.  Letting go and letting God is one way to put it.  Another way may be to be present in the moment to let whatever may come, come. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Day 99 Prayer


I went to a conference today regarding spirituality in health care in which I am interested.  Keith, the speaker who is also a minister, discussed role of our spirituality in how it can affect our interaction with others, especially those we serve.  One way of caring for others involved in his talk self care.   How we care for ourselves was discussed in how we connect to others, connect to the bigger scope of life and our inner voices.  The idea of blessing of the hands was also brought up.  In this, one hands are blessed with olive oil as another person says that they bless the others hands for whatever the person needs help.  I watched as I saw people, strangers, connecting with each other in a ritual which showed that we all need a little help; we all are small but connected to each other.  I would ask blessing of my hands to continue to find connection to each other and myself.  Handshakes help with this.  In this connection, I believe we find a greater purpose, spark and God. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Day 98 Moments


Our lives are lived in moments; steps we take toward a goal or just staying alive.   Important steps which help form who we are and what we can become.  I remember a quote, each day we begin again.  New birth in who we wish to become or who we can grow to become.  The changes we can make at times can be difficult and frightful but in the end important.  I believe that each moment can change us like river flowing through rock carves out a small piece overtime helping to form a new shape.  To be as the river and allow the change may be the greatest or possibly the least challenge.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Day 97 Looking up


Happiness sometimes is found in looking up and in looking down.  Today I had experienced both


Sunday, October 7, 2018

Day 96 Where to find ....



Where to find God?  That is the question I hear asked a lot.  Church, temple, nature, ourselves are examples that come to mind.  I believe these are all valid and helpful.  I have found what I believe to be a spark from silence, birds, snow, laughter and communion.  Sparks shared, joining in a common cause, laughing and eating together with food shared in communion with each other.  Crying and sharing grief have helped me l to be quiet and  to find a place of acceptance of who I may become.   I believe that this spark  continues to grow and helps to supply us with hope and love. 

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Day 95 Patience


Patience is hard lesson to learn.  Being able to step back at times can open up either a can of worms or shine a light on an ongoing problem.  This is where communication steps in, if both parties are open to it.  Recently, patience and impatience have led me to adventures and choices which if able, would be redone.  Again, kindness in letting go of 20/20 seems to be a recurrent theme.  The learning which I have gained, I would not give back.  Trying to turn what appears to be my own trials into something different, from which to grow, is all I can ask.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Day 94  time


Time heals all.  It would be nice to go forward in time and backwards.  Traveling at the speed of light to slow down time or speed it up.  Then we would be without sitting and growth

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Day 93 What the world needs now


At times it seems that the world makes no sense.  Sometimes, the way of the world appears to be hardened.   I see anger on the news, television and in other forms of media.   We all seem so far apart sometimes.  I remember the 70s with a group of different people getting together in a circle and singing together about harmony and love.  I was a kid at that time.  I loved that commercial.   When my son was young we used to cross the street by saying "hands across America".  We would hold hands and go.  Too bad we can't all cross the street together; including members of our country and others. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Day 92 May the Force Be With Us All



I remember watching Star Wars (A New Hope) in the movie theatre when it first came out.  It was called Star Wars and later added A New Hope to the title.  I was memorized by the science fiction aspect and special effects that were on screen.  I was also blown away by the idea of a force that could be felt and combines us all.   I still believe in that innate force of what I first thought was good.  Now, I don't know about this label.  I believe in what may be called the Light from John's gospels.  This force of God, light, Tao brings us all together.  I believe this is where kindness can grow as we are able to understand and feel from another's point of view.  Sometimes, it becomes difficult when hurt arises.  When the focus goes from we to me, anger and hurt can arise.  It is hard to recognize this when it happens. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Day 91 Disturbance in the Force



Ok so I had to go ahead and make a Star Wars reference.  Sometimes this happens when I lose focus of what is important.  This morning I looked up at the sky which was full of bright orange, red and white.  It was a canvas.  I could see a friend of mine painting exactly this.   As I was listening to the news on my way to work, this view made all of what I heard seem foreign and a long way away.  I read today of a thought or different way of looking at life.  If we see life as a movie, not attached to what is happening but able to join with others in the laughter, sadness and wonder of what we see, we are able to let go.  The disturbance disappears as we let go of what we experience.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Day 90 Ugly Duckling


I was thinking of the story of the ugly duckling actually yesterday.  I always enjoyed how the duckling turned into a beautiful swan and found where he belonged.  The story had a understated "see me know" kind of Cinderella vibe.  I started thinking of it as I was reading  a quote from a philosopher/spiritual person.  The quote talked about how we are all interchangeable.  The unattractive or ugly qualities can transform at some time into a beautiful swan and vice versa.  The words may change; the thoughts may change of what we label something or ourselves.  The house maid changes into a princess with belief of self and the love of a prince.  The duckling changes into a swan with time and growth.   I think the trick is to see it all as it really is.  There is no beautiful or ugly.   It just is.  Becoming who we are without an idea of labels presents freedom and acceptance leading to innate happiness and kindness.  This is my theory. 

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