Monday, December 31, 2018


Just now, I was thinking of the song at New Years on friendship.  I can make a bad joke but will be kind to myself and spare me of it.  One of the great gifts we can share with others is friendship.  There are some people who again come in and out of our lives but who we still care about and would help out no matter what.  For these in my life, I drink a cup of kindness and remember them.  Best wishes to all in the upcoming year.

Sunday, December 30, 2018


We have responsibility for ourselves.  We have responsibility as to what we do in live and how we live our life.  I have done hospice work and understand a little how little time we have on this earth.  How we live our lives is our responsibility to ourselves as well as others.  Being able to be mindful of our control over our life and ability to take control of our own destiny is a gift.  Blaming others of what we have done or how we act does not help us or others.


I have been watching the Avatar cartoon series with my family.  The series is about five young teens who band together to save the world.  The mainstay of the series is friendship, love and empathy.  I have had people in my life as well as pets who have come and gone.  There are some I miss and some I have forgotten which may have been a conscious decision on my part.  For the  people who I miss, I apologize for not trying harder.  For those who may not have wanted continued contact, I still offer friendship. 


My family asked me today what my New Year's goal was.  I told them to be kinder. They suggested being more tolerant.  I think that being more tolerant and patient with people does help me be kinder.  I have known for a while that it is important aspect of life to treat people as we would our favorite pet.  There are times though when it is difficult to do so.  Our favorite pet usually does not speak to us in threatening ways, judge us, bully or just say mean things about us.  Being patient may help promote tolerance when tolerance is needed.  The other thought that comes to mind is that our favorite pet does not usually bite or attack us.  I stand and fight dogs that attack me, if I have to engage in them.  I try to, first, avoid an animal that may attack or hurt me.  I still think that this may be a better idea in the long run. 

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Lifting up

May we all be around people who lift us up.  As we help to lift up others, we all benefit.  Communities grow and become stronger together.  As a nation, I also believe we benefit as a stone thrown on the surface of water causes ripples.  The more ripples, the more happiness can spread.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Moving Forward

Now that we are getting toward the end of the year, it seems like the proper time to look back and contemplate what we learned from the past year.  I am grateful over the past year for the people whom I met.  New relationships build with the past relationships continuing or ending depending on the circumstance.  I have found letting go difficult at times, and today is one of them.  Without letting go and moving forward, I fear that I will lose more than I will gain.  The time is now to look back to see how we can be present.  How we can also move forward into the new year with less baggage/weight to carry on our backs. 

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

"You'll Shoot Your Eye Out" Christmas Story

The best thing at Christmas as a child was anticipating the day.   As a child, I would write letters to Santa, would hardly sleep and would hurriedly open each gift for the next.  I lost time and joy as a child.  Only now do I understand better the day.  Family with time spent together, community, and a feeling of care for others are the wonders of the holiday.  The kid, Ralph's, mother was right; he did almost shoot his eye out with the BB rifle.  Anticipation and waiting weeks prior to the day lasted a whole 30 seconds in the BB rebounding and hitting his glasses breaking them.

Monday, December 24, 2018


This is the season of giving and receiving.  Gifts such as togetherness, laughter, going out together to see lights and getting lost never grow old.  When I was younger, the gifts which fit under the tree mattered more to me.  Now, I welcome the moments of connection which serve as priceless gifts to those we love.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Looking Inward

Kindness, happiness and joy is within ourselves.   Whether or not we allow others to disrupt this is another story.  I have read a lot of Taoist thought, Buddhism and other eastern philosophies.  The more we focus outward, the less stability we have.  Political policies seem to highlight this today.  Moving forward in the new year, I plan to focus more on inward growth and focus.  I have been happiest while doing so.

Saturday, December 22, 2018


I have been thinking recently of trust.  What is it?  When is it ok to trust others?  Who should we trust?  I do have a simple idea; without forgiveness, trust may be impossible.  Trust is a foundation to most of our relationships.  We feel closer to people we trust.  We rely on people we trust.  If someone knowingly speaks ill to us or about us, there is a strain in the relationship and in our trust.  I used to have blind trust.  Today, my trust factor is a whole lot lower.  I do realize that trust is something to cherish from another person.  Maybe, trust is like love.  Something given in faith with a great reward in the end if reciprocated in due kind.

Thursday, December 20, 2018


Seeing is believing.  Sometimes believing in the mind and acting on a belief of kindness can help the soul.   I have issues at times when I try to believe someone is better than they are.  Sometimes you get cursed at as you do things to them.  You cause them to have issues, you cause them to suffer, you cause them to not a good job.  I don't agree with this.  I have always looked at my own self and faults when dealing with people as there are two sides to every story.  If another person is not able to meet half way though, I then get confused.  The belief that we all are acting in each other's best interest is possibly naive.  Today, I would like to think the best about this person.  I will try to act on this in kindness to her, but I will also keep my eyes open in kindness to myself.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Sucking air

I have been feeling a little under the weather this week.  I have nothing to complain about as I am able to speak, walk, think and suck air. 

Monday, December 17, 2018

Wild Child

I was texting a friend today who is still waiting on the birth of her son.  He was raring to go a week ago but now seems to be settled down and just hanging out.  I laughed as he seems to be a wild child in a lot of ways.  I don't think that's a bad thing though.  The group of us who run with scissors think outside the box to create a better tomorrow. The idea is to have some sort of launch pad from which to jump up.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Getting lost

I find it easy to get lost in the daily bustle of life especially with the holiday season.  Concentrating more on tasks and not on the task itself, for me, takes the joy out of what is important.  The journey or task itself.  I have done the Christmas cards, wrapped gifts and have decorated the house.  I lose sight sometimes in what the gift may mean to the person to whom I am giving it.  I lose sight of how my cousin who I rarely talk to but who I do wonder how she and her family are doing.  Maybe, this time of year is magical in how we are able to concentrate on those we don't see everyday but who are also have been important in our life.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

For good

I was listening to Wicked soundtrack.  I have been blown away by the song 'For Good" which I believe is about those souls who we may come into contact for only a few hours or for many years but who can make a lasting impression on us.  I have memories of these people who have taught me much in life about letting go, peace, understanding and love. 

Friday, December 14, 2018

Growing up

My son has just received his driver's license.   He is growing older as am I.  I can almost imagine his age, the pain, the confusion, the happiness in the little things in life such as a crush saying hi.  One of my wishes is to place a big piece of bubble wrap around him but not too tight, so he can breathe.  Knowing when to step in and when to step back are lessons that I wished I learned in school.  Today, I am just happy for him and am trying to not get ahead of myself as the loss can feel great.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Our Lady of Guadaloupe

I have little knowledge of Saints and the Virgin Mary.  I guessed at the feast or celebration of our lady of Guadaloupe spelling; I don't think it's right as it was a guess.   I had to even look up what it meant.  It seems the the Virgin Mary had shown herself to an Indian in Guadeloupe (?).   The amount of faith in seeing and believing in a mother who bore a savior is a miracle in itself.  The community that it brings and happiness in celebrating something which can not be seen today but believed in is remarkable. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Up is the new Down

So falling up.   I have fallen down more times than I would like to count.  The issue, getting up.  Now I find it a lot easier to have others help me when I physically fall down.  I find it harder to have others help me when I fall down in other ways.  Learning to lean is something I have trouble with but am willing to work on this.  Interdependence is life in how we function and how we live.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Falling up

I was given a book a year or two ago which I skimmed, read some parts and then put down.  I don't think I was ready for it.  It's a book by Father Richard Rohr called Falling Upward.  I think right now that I am doing a lot of this, falling upward.  Being broken leads to humility, self awareness and growth.  Still, it isn't the most wonderful idea to wish upon one's life.  Kindness to oneself may make us move away from the experiences of sadness, loss, guilt and hurt.  Maybe, it is with kindness that we gravitate and continue through experiences in which we know the end so that we can grow in the journey. 

Sunday, December 9, 2018


Sometimes it is hard to know what it means to be family.  Give and take are both expected but are not always given in a 50/50 equal amount.  One person may want more or feel more driven to have or do something.  What comes in between may make or break a relationship.  Today is one of those days when the balance of justice gets out of wack.  One issue with which I have difficulty is speaking up for myself.  I have discussed persistence in the past.  This is where I fail.  Kindness to myself may include speaking up more and being more assertive to what is important.  I shall work on this.  Consider it an early New Years resolution.

Saturday, December 8, 2018


I finally understand the tortoise and the hare.  I was talking to someone the other day about staying focused and persistent.  Throughout my life, I have found it easier to jump ship when times get tough.  When I heard that a person who I knew did not get a job, I found it easy to discuss with him to reapply, be persistent, and allow himself not to be self critical.  There was a reason which did not have to do with him causing him not to be hired.  It reminded me of the tortoise and the hare.  Being persistent and being steadfast in belief of self and abilities are of what Hallmark dreams and success stories are made. 

Friday, December 7, 2018

Warm Puppy

There is an old Charlie Brown and Snoopy saying that happiness is a warm puppy. Today happiness was laying with a fat puppy, my dog Dex and being with friends.  Happiness is a warm friendship may not look as good on a book cover but still is as sweet

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Negative 5 in 5 seconds

Irritation can be a downer.  Today, it is a definite downer.  I think it's normal to have up and downs with irritability.  Maybe, the learning in this is to let it go.  Being in the moment to shake off the minute before when a spouse talks hastily to you.  Today, a great person was laid to rest.  His family called him Grampy.  (Sometimes, I am called Grumpy).  His grandson discussed a quote by H.W.. 
God's love is great but also his call for us to love one another.  There are times when love is easier than others. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Santa or otherwise known as Ho Ho

I have watched a lot of Santa Clause movies recently as well as Hallmark.  The smiles, laughter and friendship between the elves, Santa and their families almost, just almost, make me want to move up north and start building toys.  When my son was younger, we discussed how Santa was real.  The spirit of giving, love and friendship embodied in Santa continues to induce my belief in a better world.  Joy and happiness may continue year round.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

We are just bigger kids...

My son told me a story today about the reason he had a headache.  It started about how he was around another student/teen who smoked probably weed and cigarettes earlier that day and had the scent on him.  He then went on to digress on how his Spanish teacher is unable to control the class.  Other students today had to speak up to tell the unruly ones to be quiet and be respectful.  He went onto discuss how it will be better when he gets older and works.  I hated to break it to him, but adults are just big kids.  I have tried to prepare him.  I have seen and heard stories of unruly, disrespectful and possibly illegal activities performed by high upstanding adults.  It is hard to point the finger as we all have different opinions, but there are times when the actions of another may interfere with the health and welfare of others.  Sometimes, heroes speak up.  Sometimes they stay silent.  Knowing the difference make them the hero or not.

Monday, December 3, 2018


I think the the most joy sucking entity out there is worry.  The more we worry, the less happy we feel.  I know this from experience.  The majority of worry is what ifs.  I have seen people worry themselves if not to death, to sickness.  What is the antidote to worry?  I don't know.  Possibly it is not giving a ....   Maybe instead, it is to have ESP or the ability to know the future.  With this ability though, we would lose hope and maybe faith.   These two ideas, I believe, help to keep us human, sane and a community which helps to support and take care of each other. 

Sunday, December 2, 2018

What the......

There have been a few instances recently when I have left a conversation, place or group scratching my head.  We all come from different perspectives and histories.  What happens when it is almost impossible to be in another’s skin?

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Own bestie

I have had discussions today with friends regarding how we are our own best friend. If we are not kind to ourselves how can we be kind to other people.  If we believe the worst of ourselves other people too. If we believe In the best of ourselves we can give this to ourselves And others. I know someone who is very kind, loving And funny. Hearing her doubt this Made me shake my head this morning. if we can take the blinders off to ourselves I think we can be much happier in life as well as make those around us much happier

Being smart

Being smart can be hard as the choices we make affect our happiness and eventually mold us.  We can choose to be happy by focusing on peopl...